Have You

Have you ever felt torn?
not in pieces, but in half

Have you ever lived the day happy?
but felt lonely the moment u returned home

Have you ever missed someone so much?
that its painful thinking about them

Have you ever found peace?
in living a lie

me too
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No ifs

I told her sit,

cause we gonna ride

pray,

cause we gonna try

no ifs

I found peace

in knowing , I had found the one

had to drop that idea

I was sounding dumb

found God

then I was drowning some

cause our routine was boring

get an hour, then cum

these girls a leave u out to dry

no food, to die

fucking up your life

you not understanding why

no ifs

Go get u a real one

used up,

then left to suffer

already found another

I got GOD

 

Wish You Were Here

Wish you were here

road trips always put me here
in a place of reflection
thinking of our days
nothing or anyone compares
don't dare

don't give me materials
nothing tangible 
just you
no brand new car
no brand new you
the old you
with scratches and scars

perfectly imperfect
I love it
you assigned me, my role
too soon, you go
you went,
life spent
teaching and teaching

the strength behind my decisions
the courage behind my actions
the man behind my transition into manhood
love you pop, wish you were here

Find you

The soul is yours
your mind, you own
your legacy, you create
Life is a natural disaster
waiting to happen
one day, things crash down
prepare for the tragedy
by finding comfort 
and peace within
your safety
your reservoir
your sanctuary 
is within yourself
comprise your making
of what you love
of what you'd give
of what you'd find peace in
Life's a wave
waiting patiently for you
to ride it nice and high
before the sharks
of hate attempt to eat your peace
and devour your soul
your protection against this evil,
finding you
when you know you,
when you find you
when you love you,
nothing
can break you
xcept you
when it seems as though
the world is crashing down
the walls are closing in
the darkness is getting darker,
turn to who you are
never leave yourself abandoned
and subjected to misuse
misguiding
and soul poisoning
Find you man

50/Fifty

My life's a lie
this poem isn't real
nothing is

Wrapped in blankets
of lies
and fairy tales
compounding every detail of my life

This confession isn't truthful
in fact, I'm genuine
happy
joyous
I'm real

Never call me fake,
only when I'm writing
That's now
this isn't real

As my fingers punch the keys
of this laptop
and my thoughts shoot
onto this screen
you'll realize 
I'm a fib
lies, are what my words mean

I'm not writing,
someone else is
It's Nate,
but not the Nate you know
this Nate, isn't real
only when he's writing

I guess he's real
living two lives
both consisting of good and bad
happy and sad
misery, he's glad

My Butterfly-She Changes

Sad was the day

when she shied away

unknowingly from him,

words he can’t say

is how he felt

Just when his confidence

was peaking

things changed,

and would never be the same

Desperate for that somebody

his thirst was in the air

once so good,

now so ordinary,

She doesn’t even care

His emotions now wonder

from room to room

looking for answers,

why she leaves so soon

why the distance exists

when it’s inches they sit,

he just doesn’t understand

He attempts to shake

the misery

and diminish his sadness

as he fakes smiles

and portrays he’s glad, shit

Stop the front

she keeps up her wall

some of him is hurt,

soon to be all

Maybe he’s too demanding

and that’s her reasoning

for falling back

into the arms of her own comfort

Is it his aggressive nature?

or complaints that drive you away,

he loves you

your his

he only wants you to stay

he gives his all,

you give half

and expect him to accept that shit

change your ways

be natural

he may check you off his list

My Butterfly

she changes

from cold to hot, so quick

the evolution, is beautiful

but the change makes me sick

her wings,

they match the color of each day

but the soon become,

the ideas of yesterday

never consistent

change back

butterfly-art-by-my-honeys-place
“Butterfly Art” by My Honeys Place

SNOW wHiTe OppOrtunities

feline-good
Thomas Adams “Feline Good”
Snow white as my skin,
on a Tuesday morning
The wind, thicker than
privilege 
Ever wondered why, you
are who you are?
I fantasize about the other side
the other guys
their who's, what and why's
I opened my door this morning,
and to my amazement, I was scattered
all over the street
on top of cars
houses
and trees
it's me, white 

Fuck this daydream..
I'm me, I'm proud to be
african american with tattoos
long as my ambition
Scatter melanin on everything I see
then it'll be me
I ain't white, I'm right..

I felt smaller than an ant tho,
during my trip through the city
white...everywhere
fuck your pity

harsh reality
cold truths
it ain't equal me, equal you
it's limit him, bless you
opportunities I pray for
are one's you walk into
like intimacy waiting for you